Spilled Milk is my monthly wrap up where I talk about some of my favourite things from the last month. Things I’m reading, enjoying, looking forward to—sort of anything floating my boat.
My March was two things: extremely boring and incredibly wild (okay Jonathan Safran Foer). I’m at the point of the year where novelty has worn off and somewhat of a routine has set in. March’s downer effect on me may have been exacerbated by the slew of travel and events I have coming in April. This valley put me in the perfect place to read 12 books this month, 4 of which I read as part of the Trans Rights Readathon.
On the wild side, the querying process of my first book has been… going. I am choosing not to say more for now in case a prospective literary agent reads this and thinks I’m too loose-lipped for the industry (only time will tell!!!). The bottom line is that through it all I’ve been able to feel more confident about my novel and its prospective audience, while also understanding that publishing is a gatekept Business (capital B, honey). Live, laugh, love!
Here is an overview of how my month went:
I attended an incredibly inspiring talk by
, the author of Here After. It made me want to hold my love ones close and write from the heart.I went to a wedding! I’ve only ever been to a few weddings, and this one was a close friend’s so it was extra special. There’s something about managing to wear a double-breasted blazer and high-waisted pants suit without giving Harry Styles that feels like a big accomplishment.
I’ve gotten to a point in writing my second book where things are falling into place and I’m feeling really good about it. It’s a weird one and I love it!!
I binged watched two season of Extraordinary. It’s like a funny British cross between Girls and X-Men. I’m gonna need an IV of British media injecting into me at all times because it’s just… better?
I saw Dune: Part Two and understood it all, so I’m essentially in Mensa. The first one was very busy, but this one was great! Go off Denis!
The following is a list of some more things I couldn’t get enough of.
What I Read and Loved
Henry Henry by Allen Bratton
I told every bookish person in my life about this book when I was only 50 pages in, that’s how much I enjoyed it. Henry Henry releases April 2nd, and I’m gonna need people to read it real quick.
Set in 2014 London, we follow Hal, the queer son and heir of the Duke of Lancaster, as he meanders about drinking and fucking his life away. As layers of the onion get peeled back, the complexities of his person made this a really interesting character study. It deals with familial obligation, trauma, privilege, sex, abuse, catholicism, and knowing you’re a shit show of a person but doing nothing about it.
Watching Bratton bring the main character right up to the edge of being absolutely despicable and uninterestingly flat, then masterfully splaying his depth open for the reader to be pulled right back in again was astounding. The voice, the humour, the sharp edges and soft bits, everything was so balanced. I love Henry Henry and I’m so glad it lived up to it’s amazing cover.
Ponyboy by Eliot Duncan
I bought this book right when it came out only to watch it sit on my bookshelf for months and months and months. So when the Trans Rights Readathon rolled around, I figured I should finally get around to reading it. I am so glad I did.
Ponyboy tells the story of Ponyboy, a transmasc person from the Midwest, while he lives in Europe and dives headfirst into love, addiction and his gender journey. To limit the book to just a novel about that would be incorrect. It expands on the novel form with poetry and an experimental structure that all works so well. It reads like an honest love letter to a former self.
Reading this book was like being held in the point of a song at the end of the bridge, right before the chorus starts up again—it’s frenetic, alive, unputdownable. Eliot Duncan is brilliant and I’ll be thinking about this book for a very long time.
Jane: A Murder by Maggie Nelson
This book is unlike anything that came before it, and nothing that came after it should dare try. It’s part memoir, part poetry collection, part found writing, part true crime, and it just hurts so good.
In Jane, Maggie Nelson paints the portray of the aunt she never knew, murdered before Nelson was even born. It pieces together bits from Jane’s journals, information from the case, and the ways the murder has shaped the lives of those left behind. It is infused with grief and hurt, but also depicts life and love through Jane herself. Masterful!
I can’t believe this is where I have started with Maggie Nelson, she’s brilliant and now I get to read all of her books! I’ll be reading Like Love next, which is a collection of essays coming out April 2nd.
75 Hard Style Challenge
I’m calling it! This is the last time I will speak about this challenge.
I have failed... Not miserably, but failed nonetheless. I was halfway between a deep dive on flimsy cardigans that would fit my body because Nicholas Galitzine wore one in an interview and Meryl Streep’s Peterbilt trucker hat from the 70s (see the depths of my screenshots folder below) when I cracked.
I took on the challenge to rediscover my closet, rely on creativity, and as a push to really get dressed dressed on a daily basis. If those are my success metrics, then I’ve succeeded. What I’m taking with me after 45ish days is a reflex to alter clothing to fit better, part with things that don’t serve me, and a lengthier lead-up to a purchase.
Love Lies Bleeding
Generally speaking, I hate action movies. I don’t like guns, I don’t like crime stuff, I don’t like fighting sequences, but I loved this. I think maybe we should add lesbians to everything, and it would all be better? Just a working theory.
Set in New Mexico in the late ‘80s, it’s the story of Lou, a grouchy gym manager (Kristen Stewart), who falls in love with Jackie, an amateur bodybuilder (Katy O’Brian). Things get messy with Lou’s crime family, her sister who’s stuck in an abusive relationship and for Jackie who starts using steroids.
This movie is fast-paced, over the top, so so hot, and an overall good time. Kristen Stewart is, of course, a genius. She gives classic Kristen Stewart™️, but melts it into this character seamlessly. Katy O’Brian also gives an amazing performance, I’m obsessed with her making a PowerPoint for her agents to get the role—it is so me-making-a-powerpoint-to-get-a-hamster-at-age-7, and I love it. And JENA MALONE!!!! You can just tell the people making this movie loved doing it.
This is one of those movies where the central tension isn’t the queerness—it’s literally an action movie—but the queerness seeps into all of the nooks and crannies. The visuals are breathtaking, there’s a camp sensibility, and it’s FUN while being a little gross!
Violence, desire and gays… What more do you want??
Reading Goals Update
My non-fiction reads for the month were Daddy Boy by Emerson Whitney and Faltas by Cecilia Gentili. Both gorgeous memoirs that are very different, but I loved both.
My poetry collection read this month was Jane: A Murder by Maggie Nelson. I talked about this above, but, again, LOVE.
I am going to be reading James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room in April to keep my year with Baldwin up!
That’s been my month!
Here’s a rapid fire of what else is on my radar:
Cowboy Carter! Bodyguard is already tattooed on whatever part of my brain enjoys music.
That little gay prince show with gay prince Nicholas Galitzine and Julianne Moore.
I’m going to CDMX and I love love love CDMX! The food, the sights, the life, it’s gorgeous. I’ll be reading Trash by Mexican author Sylvia Aguilar Zéleny while there (it was just announced as a finalist for the Trans Fiction Lambda Award!).
^Nice weather! Shorts! Gauzy tops!
Once again, Maggie Rogers’ new album is coming and I’m not sure if I’m ready.
I’m excited to read a lot of books that just released or are coming out soon (Like Love, Dayspring, Housemates and Perfume & Pain are at the top of my list).
I bought these Wales Bonner x adidas shoes months ago and will finally be able to wear them.
There’s a series of essays I have planned for April that I’m really excited about!
Until next time 🤠
Man you are really speaking to my soul w this one!!!! My dog's name is Ponyboy so i will ABSOLUTELY be picking up a copy. Desperate to read Perfume & Pain (currently reading Vagablonde!!!) Also love CDMX-- be sure to go to Casa Bosques! and enjoy <3
You have me on the edge of my seat for all three books mentioned. Can't wait to compare notes on Housemates!!!!