June's Spilled Milk
What I've been reading, doing, loving in June
Spilled Milk is my monthly wrap up where I talk about some of my favourite things from the last month. Things I’m reading, enjoying, looking forward to—sort of anything floating my boat.
I wish I had a cohesive thought for the way June felt, but it was so far from cohesive (I couldn’t think of an antonym to cohesive that hit right, and that feels relevant here).
June was diving into the Mediterranean from a cliffside diving board, even though there was no sun and a chill in the air. June was baking a delicious tarte tatin, only to slice into my index finger before ever taking a bite. June was feeling creatively fulfilled, but also cut down at every turn and watching my well empty itself. It was as if nothing could be enjoyed fully, there was always a caveat.
But now that my rollercoaster ride of a month is over, things are already feeling more settled. I’m easing into July with ease in mind.
I have a writing workshop starting this week, summer is finally in full swing (outdoor pool season, hello!!), and I have the Intermezzo by Sally Rooney ARC on the way… Things are looking up!
Here is an overview of how my month went:
I published an anthology with 10 queer writers writing about queerness. I’m so proud of it and love every single person who was part of it
Decided I would start wearing thong flip flops again (mostly with pants, very Copenhagen)… watch this space!
I was invited to go to a Page Break reading retreat weekend, which was an amazing experience with a group of 12 all reading In Tongues by Thomas Grattan together. The communal experience of reading in a group was fascinating and inspiring, I really loved it
Absolutely reeling from the Olympic trials for women’s gymnastics… My heart goes out to Kayla DiCello, Shilese Jones and Skye Blakely!
Pride in Montreal is in August, so I haven’t really soaked up the proudness as much as one might expect
The following is a list of some more things I couldn’t get enough of.
What I Read and Loved
Everything I read in June was written by a queer author, about queer people and queer themes. Shocker.
These were my standouts:
Bad Habit by Alana S. Portero
This book should be on everyone’s TBR. If it’s already sitting on your bedside table, pick it up immediately.
Set in 1980s Madrid, Bad Habit is the coming-of-age story of a trans girl figuring out her queerness and her transness, and follows her all the way into adulthood. We see her navigate first love, family, sex, kinship with trans elders, and the realities of being different in a city she loves.
It’s about life being what you make it.
The thing I kept being in awe of while reading this book was the author’s ability to show life as a series of moments, and the present as a sum of everything that’s come before. That multitude can be heartbreaking, it can be beautiful, but it’s usually both.
Evenings and Weekends by Oisín McKenna
This novel has been out in the UK since May, and all the reviews I’ve seen of it since then have been really great. So, naturally, I went into this with a bit more of a critical eye.
Four chapters in and I completely lost myself into the story. I forgot I wanted to really evaluate it without considering the buzz around it because it was just that good. It’s the interwoven stories of a handful of people in London over the course of one particularly scorching summer weekend.
There’s something masterful about a novel that balances a big cast of characters, a messy web of a plot, and moments of stark humanity—Oisín McKenna walks that tightrope wonderfully here. It was page-turnery, but I also cared about these people because of how much they were plainly cracked open on the page.
This book just came out in America, and needs to be read on a blanket in a park or near a body of water.
Women by Chloé Caldwell
I read this novella in one sitting… and you should too.
The reissue of this cult book from 2014 first caught my eye in an episode of The L Word: Generation Q where one character describes it as their favourite gay love story. In just over 150 pages, it manages to do that and so much more.
We follow one character through a queer awakening, sapphic obsession, heartbreak, and this very grounded experience of love. This book will speak to you if you’ve ever had a crush, yearned, felt crazy in love, had your heart broken… basically if you’re a person existing today.
My favourite part of this is how honestly it depicts all of those experiences. We go from rose-coloured glasses to throwing phones on walls at whiplash speed, and as the reader you’re along for the all too familiar ride. I’m excited to re-read this book at different points of my life to see how it lands over time.
I Will Greet the Sun Again by Khashayar J. Khabushani
This book kept me hooked from start to finish. I couldn’t look away.
I Will Greet the Sun Again follows the youngest of three brothers growing up in an Iranian-American family. It’s a trek through Los Angeles and Iran, exploring his childhood, the permeating quality of abuse, his queer coming-of-age, and being Muslim right after 9/11.
This book is tender and sharp. It makes you look at ugly truths very directly, but does it in a way that feels warm and human. I loved the way this short book packed such a big punch.
What I Watched
I watched a lot of things this month. Nothing really sticks out as much as a long-time-coming rewatch of Girls. I think it was all this talk of the Rachel Sennott entry into the pantheon of ensemble cast in NYC comedies that made the rewatch feel necessary. And I’m glad I did it.
Girls
I watch Sex and the City pretty much annually, but somehow its younger 2012 counterpart has never been in my regular rotation. Where SATC never felt attainable—I would never be that age, that rich, with that many Jimmy Choos—Girls was somewhat within reach when I first watched. I was just about to be their ages, felt like I might have a voice of a generation, and also made poor decisions at Urban Outfitters. That proximity paired with the actual distance my life experience had to theirs made it hard to stay hooked.
Now I can appreciate it as a vestige of the early 2010s. The fashion, the mess, the way it reminds me of where and who I was, I enjoyed basking in that. That’s not to say it didn’t have its faults, but I was still able to appreciate the show despite them. It’s almost like I’m giving grace to my younger self for being annoying and self-centered (everyone is at 21!!!) through these characters and storylines.
Hannah’s entire stint at Iowa Writers Workshop came at the perfect time, reminding me that it’s not for everyone. I see Marnie and I don’t roll my eyes at her anymore, I’m mostly sad for her. No part of me envies Jessa now, she feels messier than I even remember. And Shoshanna is still the unsung hero, that much has remained the same.
Also, the writing… The writing!!!! Watching it with the eyes of a writer currently writing, I’m that much more impressed. There’s so many nuggets of gold, saying so much with so little. And I understand Hannah’s character in a whole new way.
All this to say, it’s a spectacular show that warrants a rewatch!
What I Listened To
Usually, when I travel, I have an album I listen to the entire trip. But, not this time around. I didn’t really listen to anything, didn’t have the aux cord, mostly just read. But here’s a playlist with some of my faves:
Brat by Charli XCX
If there’s one thing of note from the last month, it’s definitely Brat. I’ve been on the Charli train for a while, but this is a whole new level of appreciation for her.
The girl, so confusing version with lorde made me cry the first three times I listened to it (on loop). There’s something so absolutely cathartic about hearing them ‘work it out on the remix’ that feels healing for all misunderstandings, bottled up feelings, and lost friendships.
With Sympathy is a knife, Charli really cracked open my diary and put it on a track. I’ve had this bout of imposter syndrome for the last few weeks that I’ve been unable to shake, and I want to hold this song up to everyone trying to help.
Every time I listen, I find a new song to obsesses over. This whole album really feels like a moment where this artist is doing exactly what she’s supposed to do at the exact right time. She’s always been an icon AND a young girl from Essex.
Reading Goals Update
My non-fiction read for the month was Diary of a Misfit by Casey Parks. It’s part memoir, about being southern and queer, and part investigation, a dive into queer history and identity.
My poetry collection read this month was Gay Girl Prayers by Emily Austin. This was campy, fun, and I mostly enjoyed the journey of googling each accompanying bible verse to see the playful subversion.
My Year With Baldwin is still very much something I’m doing, but I didn’t read Another Country yet… so I’m behind. I will read it!
On My Bedside Table
A dispatch from my bedside table and the books that litter it, hoping to be read soon.
When I Sing, Mountains Dance by Irene Solà
Liars by Sarah Manguso
Brat by Gabriel Smith
Oye by Melissa Mogollon
Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
Have you read any of these? Are any of these non-negotiables? Are any of them skippable?
Tell me what you think in the comments!
That’s been my month!
Until next time 🤠
Girls really is that girl, and the writing - the mf’in writing… their pens were lethal in that writer’s room 😮💨
I’m awaiting Liars! 19 days away from Pub Day!